Breathing Hard into Jesus

Last year when I was pregnant, a mommy friend reassured me that taking care of these twins would be a lot of work. 😉 We were sitting around their dinner table with their two now-toddlers as she reminisced about the sweet but difficult first year. Her youngest had colic, and she said as hard as it was being up with her daughter at night, those were the times she had some of the most intimate conversations with her Daddy.

I have found this to be true, though thankfully we are not up with the babies too much at night now. A few nights ago, however, little miss Clara Jane was simply overtired from her lack of naps the day before and would not fall back asleep after her mid-night feeding. After many unsuccessful attempts to help her fall back asleep, I finally picked her up, offered another bottle, and just rocked, shushed, and rocked and rocked and rocked…let her squirm, and just rocked her some more.

I quietly got back into bed, not sure how much time had passed.

“Did she finish the bottle?” Ben mumbled.

“No…but I just rocked her…until she was breathing hard.”

Thankfully she didn’t wake back up until the sun rose.


I laid in bed wondering how many times I’ve been like Clara – struggling against God, fighting his comforting arms, not letting myself find rest in his love and promises. Being more like Martha than Mary (Luke 10:38-42). Probably too many times to count.

But like an ever-loving father, this is what God wants for us. To lean against him hard and trust that he will hold us up. To have the faith to let go, let down our guard, to settle into him until we are breathing hard and listening to his heart. Whether like a babe we are tired, hungry, thirsty, or just restless – he knows just what we need and will lead us to the place of peace.

The question is will we – will I – make the time and space for this to happen?


 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7


Posted on by Ben and Krista Beukema in Uncategorized Leave a comment

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